Discoveries from the Mirror at Hot Yoga Class

One of the things about hot yoga that freaked me out in the beginning is that you are supposed to look at yourself in the mirror for most of the 90 minute class. Ick. Unless I am busy painting my face, or checking my teeth for spinach, staring at myself in a mirror is unsettling. I have never really understood vanity, and it just makes me uncomfortable.

But this is the way things are done there, and I'm trying to think of it simply as a positioning tool. Are my arms even? Are my knees and elbows in line? Is my foot coming up over my head yet? As my practice is progressing, however, I couldn't help but notice a few other fascinating things. Well, fascinating to me, anyhow.

- My tranquil focussed face actually looks a bit grumpy and bitchy.

- My right shoulder is noticeably higher. This is logical, since my scoliosis bends my middle back to the left, but I didn't realize it was so pronounced.

- My left leg is thicker than the right, both the thigh and the calf. My right knee is often borked, and I sprained my right ankle quite badly last year, so I spend far more time standing on the left. I'm going to make an effort to stand on the right as much as possible when waiting for elevators, on the subway, etc.

- My arms are far more toned than they were 6 months ago. Neat.

- I am a bit tall for a girl. I'm only 5'7.75", but when compared to groups of people, I am slightly taller than the rest of the gals. I often forget this.

- My balance is pretty good when I am gazing at any part of the floor, but when I look up at the mirror like we are supposed to, I am suddenly unstable. (It also occurs when I have to look up at the ceiling, to some extent) Something about the mirror not being a stable visual surface throws off my focus. Weird. Working on this.

- Note to self: you look slimmer when you stand up straight. For goodness sake, stand up straight!

- My knees aren't screwed on correctly. They are twisted too far inward. To straighten my knees, I must turn my feet out at bit like a duck.

Basically, I forget how weird my body is. I know, everyone's body is weird - the human body is a tweaky demented creature. Now that I am reminded of this information, perhaps I can gently persuade some parts to even out, get in line, and balance more.

IHaveASecret.com relaunch!

I am super excited about my latest project, and hope that you will all help me just a bit! Please check out the site, and use those share buttons at the bottom of each post - I'm hoping to get many people to Follow via Email (sidebar) and assist in spreading the word. We can change ourselves. We can get over Anxiety and Fear. We just have to have a plan, have a goal, and keep at it!

3 Movies That Helped Me Analyze My Life http://ihaveasecret.com/2016/09/27/ihaveasecret-3-movies-that-helped-me-analyze-my-life/

Haiku Deathmath & Show Hosting

I love hosting shows! I have always enjoyed event planning, crowd wrangling, and keeping the audience energy up, but when I'm hosting instead of performing, it allows me to be a cheerleader for the real performers. I know, a vivacious host is performing in a different way - it is both more and less stress at the same time, but I truly love it.

The annual Toronto Haiku Head-to-head Deathmatch was amazing. People really seemed excited about the death and destruction, and the fact that they got to be rowdy at a poetry event. Here's my quote on that philosophy: Click

If you know of any shows / events / shindigs / hootenanys that might require a host, please let me know! cynthia.gould@gmail.com

Art: Part 2 - Visuals

I have always painted, drawn, doodled, created things that were visually expressive to me. Then I spent 3 years in college studying art history, typography, colour theory, composition, layout, and the ways of commercial art, graphic design, and visual communication.

Years passed, I was busy with work, running a zine, websites, moving to Toronto and falling in love with this city. I finally started painting again, this time in a very different style. It took a few years to evolve, but I hit upon a method of painting that was incredible enjoyable to do, and other people seemed to like it too. A friend was stunned once when I admitted that I've sold over 100 paintings. That doesn't necessarily mean they're good, just that it's a popular style that people want to hang in their homes. Happy hippie art. Abstracts with stuff in them. Dr. Seuss meets Miro.

But then I started assisting a friend with lighting. There is a lot of tech involved, and I really don't take to fighting with gear, but I learned, I listened, I fought through it. Then he took on the technical part of the visual projections at a monthly event, and I was able to concentrate on content - creating video clips, using samples, and mixing the projections live. Suddenly everything clicked - live visual performance art. This is what I've been wanting to do forever. Then that monthly event stopped running. Drat.

Now I want to VJ at least once a month, but there just aren't a lot of venues set up for it, or events that can pay a VJ (at least enough to cover my expenses & Uber home at 3am). Hopefully I'll find another regular gig again soon!

My vimeo page: https://vimeo.com/vj7thdeadly
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPenJP099rQzAGQliSCKbomOGan-ridjN


Next time - Photography!

June 29, 2016

The final show of the Art Bar Poetry Series was last night, and my volunteer position as Interim Director is finished. It's interesting - I might miss the frequency that I've been listening to poetry over the past year, but I'm excited to have those many hours per week back, to focus on my own projects. Which project? Well, things are brewing. Lists being made, you know how it is. But first and foremost I think I need a little break. I need to spend some times on patios with a sketchbook and a notebook. I need to sit under trees and perhaps even get a little sun.

I'm really excited about songwriting with the new band - there have been so many great ideas floating around, but no time to churn out new songs, as we've been swamped with shows! (I know, poor little us!) Cool times ahead, to be sure.

I also think I need to create a better workspace for my VJ art. I've been meaning to clear out my art room for ages - the time is actually coming soon. I know if I had a better setup, I could put in more hours per week, and actually produce some of the ideas I have in my head. And learn new software. And research new gigs. Vicious art circle! And redesign my website, and start a new one...

Ideas. I have them. It's the TIME I need!

Vid Clips from Anti-Valentine Ball at The Opera House

Subspace Anti-Valentine Fetish Ball at The Opera House from VJ7thDeadly on Vimeo.

This Saturday shall be a blast!

The photo above is from Subspace New Years Eve at the Opera House - 4 screens, 2 projectors, plus the LED / laser sculptures by Lucy.

Saturday night is the Subspace Anti-Valentine ball, which instantly gave me a ton of ideas for video mixing content. But how did #TorontoLife know that I was shooting steamy video last night? I assume they were peeping in the window. Article Here

There will be smashed hearts, dirty poetry, and a sexy girlie in chains up on the screen. Hope I can take a break and hit the dancefloor for at least a few minutes!

My Saturday Night

Sometimes it's great to be me...

#HighHeelsLoFi
#CynthiaGould